I was feeling so tech savvy flying around the globe on Google Earth.
Visiting South America.
Looking in on my childhood home in Indiana.
Checking out the breaks on Frenchman Creek where I hunt in the fall.
Then I logged on to the Montana Department of Fish, Wildlife and Parks Web site to apply for my antelope and elk tags and was quickly brought back to Earth.
Or reality.
Whatever. My computer ineptness returned in an instant to bite me on the … application.
“Did you confirm your ALS number with the computer?” the woman who answered the phone at the FWP help line asked me.
“Huh?” I thought. “How do you confirm something with a computer?”
“And how would I do that?” I replied in as nice a voice as possible.
There was a long pause on the other end of the line and I thought I heard muffled laughter.
It used to be so easy. I would wait until the very last minute, fill out an application for the special tags I wanted, sign my name at the bottom and get it in the mail by June 1.
Sometime in August the results would be mailed to me.
A number of years ago the online option became available. I resisted at first preferring old-school snail mail, but decided to give it a try after an incorrectly filled out application was returned to me and I wasn’t able to hunt antelope that fall.
One big advantage of applying online is that if there are any errors on the application the process will be stopped and you won’t be able to proceed until the problems are remedied.
And there will be errors.
Every step of the way it seems.
At least on my part.
Like the wrong Automated Licensing Service number, a missing digit in my home phone number or the omission of my country of residence.
All of those errors were pointed out to me in red type at the top of the screen, an uncomfortable flashback to my school days.
But I was able to correct every error on my own except one – the ALS number. The longer I looked at it, the more I was convinced I had the right number and FWP didn’t.
Of course I was wrong.
After the nice lady at the FWP help line pointed that out I finished my application with no more trouble.
Until, of course, I tried to print the receipt for the tags I had purchased, including $2.31 for a “convenience fee.” My computer locked up and I got a “not responding” message.
Oh well, it’s done and now all I can do is wait.
Come August I may even try to “confirm” my success in the drawing.
It’s so convenient I could scream.
Parker Heinlein is at pman@mtintouch.net