I’ll wear out my own pants, thank you very much.
On a recent trip to Bozeman I picked up a new pair of Carhartts at a ranch supply store.
Mine are getting a bit ragged and since I wear little else anymore, it was time to get a pair that weren’t frayed, bloodstained or holey.
I’m no clothes horse, but I do know a bit about fashion. Among the many hats I wore during nearly two decades spent sitting at a newspaper features desk was that of fashion editor. I put together back-to-school fashion pages, explored the mystery behind the little black dress and held a light meter for the photographer during swimsuit issue shoots.
I know what tap pants are thanks to the fine folks at Fredericks of Hollywood who once sent me a pair.
All that, however, was back in the day.
Back when I wore khakis and button-down collar shirts.
Now I dress in Carhartts and wool and don’t worry about mix and matching camouflage patterns.
Picking up a new pair of pants requires little thought. Too little apparently.
The new pants turned out to be not what I had been looking for. While they were Carhartt brown, I didn’t realize until I got home that they were actually Carhartt light.
Soft to the touch instead of rough like all the new Carhartts that had preceded them, it turned out the pants didn’t even have double knees.
A card that fell out of one of the pockets explained that these Carhartts had “undergone a special process which results in variations of shading and color.”
I shrieked and dropped them to the floor like they were a pair of acid-washed jeans.
These were the pants all the wannabes wear.
Wannabe construction workers.
Wannabe hunters.
Wannabe Montanans.
Carhartts aren’t supposed to be soft or faded until they’re nearly done. What’s the point of buying a new pair that are already worn out.
Unless of course they’re half price.
But these certainly weren’t.
They were simply halfway to already needing to be replaced when I bought them.
Few of us still change our own oil, butcher our own meat or even mow our own lawns. Many of us, however, still like to look like we do.
We like that worn look of an old pair of Carhartts.
And while it may take me a bit longer than it used to, I can still wear out a pair all by myself.
Even the old-fashioned dark brown kind, stiff as a board with double knees.
Parker Heinlein is at pman@mtintouch.net