Living the high life on the Hi-Line

MALTA -- Go ahead. Call me a romantic.
For our 10th anniversary, my wife, Barb, and I traveled to a foreign land, enjoyed some exotic cuisine and shared a little time in Climax.
Then we returned to the states for a lunch in Harlem.
How hot is that?
Not as hot as you might think.
Considering that the foreign land was Canada, the exotic food Cheezies, and Climax is a small village in Saskatchewan.
And we didn’t dine on soul food in Harlem.
No, we both ordered the special, which at Deb’s Diner on that Wednesday happened to be Salisbury steak with mashed potatoes and gravy.
Such is the high life on the Hi-Line where Canada is but a stone’s throw away and the towns bear the names of more exotic locales: Zurich and Glasgow among them.
Cool, eh?
Now even you can be cool. In Balance magazine, this issue only, I’ll tell you how.
First, sell your home in the Gallatin Valley and move north. Way north. Don’t be fooled by the scenic beauty of quaint Lewistown nestled at the foot of the Judith Mountains. It’s already been discovered.
Keep going all the way up U.S. 191 to Highway 2, the northernmost paved arterial in Montana.
Buy a home there. Maybe in Dodson or Saco where the real estate boom has yet to arrive.
Don’t look for work. There isn’t any. But who wants a job when you’re living the high life with your sweetie on the Hi-Line?
Then get a passport. It’s required to enter Canada. Homeland security, you know?
When you find the time, on your anniversary perhaps, point yourself north and throw caution to the wind. Val Marie, hometown of NHL star Bryan Trottier, is just 20 kilometers north of the border. Val Marie is also home to the Whitemud Grocery where you can score some Cheezies.
A made-in-Canada snack treat, (the bag is even decorated with a maple leaf) Cheezies are the far-north version of Cheetos.
With Cheezies in hand, (they’re not as messy as Cheetos) get back in your rig, wave goodbye to the good folk of Val Marie and drive west through Orkney and Braken to Climax where there is a long-closed Chinese restaurant.
Like most small towns in southern Saskatchewan, in Climax all the restaurants are closed. So are the gas stations. But another small grocery here does offer Cheezies.
By now, however, you’re hankering for something a bit more substantial. It’s time to head south. At the border crossing you get a blank look when you tell the officer you’re only bringing back a couple bags of Cheezies.
Following a brisk body cavity search you’re on your way again. Next stop: Deb’s Diner in Harlem, Mt. where your wife, with a dab of gravy on her chin, tells you she’s sure glad you married her.
So there. Now you, too, can live the high life.
On the Hi-Line.
Parker Heinlein is at pman@mtintouch.net