The commotion in the kitchen caught my attention.
One of the dogs was in the garbage.
But before I could get to my feet, Jem wandered back into the living room licking his chops.
“Don’t do it,” he mouthed as I raised my arm to give him a smack.
Spot awoke from her slumber at my feet. “Better listen to him,” she said. “He’s been reading the newspaper again.”
Spot was referring to a story out of Great Falls concerning the arrest of an illegal immigrant from Mexico on drug charges. Sheriff’s deputies responding to a report of dog abuse found a pit bull lying atop $30,000 cash along with 20 pounds of marijuana.
Two Cascade County deputies had gone to the house to check out a report that a man was beating a dog there.
“So what’s that got to do with me,” I asked Spot.
“Jem says he knows where your stash is,” the bitch responded.
“My stash? What are you talking about?
“The money and the drugs,” Jem blurted out, ham fat glistening on his lips. “On the nightstand next to your bed.”
“You mean the coin jar and the Extra-strength Tylenol?” I asked him.
“If that’s what you want to call it,” he answered defiantly. “Smack me and we’ll let the sheriff decide what it is.”
Spot closed her eyes again. “Go ahead and hit him,” she said. “Nobody’s going to call the cops.”
According to the Great Falls Tribune, Salvador Orodnez-Maldonado faces up to 20 years in prison and a $50,000 fine. His bond was set at $100,000. The pit bull was taken to an animal shelter.
“So you think you’d be happier in a shelter?” I asked Jem.
“No, just safer,” he told me.
“I doubt they’d let you run loose and get into the garbage,” I told him.
“Yeah, and they’d fix you for sure,” Spot chimed in.
“Huh?” Jem queried.
“Snip, snip,” Spot replied.
“Snip what?” Jem asked her.
“You figure it out,” she told him.
Jem turned and looked back into the kitchen.
“Don’t think about it,” I cautioned.
“Snip, snip,” Spot whispered.
“Tylenol, eh?” Jem asked. “And a coin jar?”
“Uh huh,” I told him. “Go ahead and turn me in.”
Jem licked the last of the ham fat off his lips and sat down.
I rolled up the newspaper and slapped it against my palm.
“You’re no pit bull,” I told him. “I’m not an illegal alien. So just stay out of the garbage, OK?
”And quit reading the newspaper.”
Parker Heinlein is at pman@mtintouch.net
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Sage grouse hunting may be thing of the past
It may not be long before we count sage grouse among the species of birds we used to hunt.
Concern that West Nile virus is hurting sage grouse populations has prompted the Montana Department of Fish, Wildlife and Parks to consider cutting in half the hunting season for the state’s oldest grouse.
Not that it would matter much to most bird hunters, who seldom target sage grouse anyway, but eliminating the season completely is probably on the horizon.
And that would matter to my friend Dallas.
Sage grouse are his favorite game bird both in the field and on the table.
He opens the upland bird season each fall with a family hunting trip for sage grouse and pursues them with the same passion he does elk.
Sage grouse, Dallas tells me, are Montana’s original game bird, so ancient they don’t even have gizzards.
Properly handled in the field, the big birds are unequaled on the table. Or so my friend claims. I would beg to differ, but perhaps it’s simply a case of improper handling on my part.
I may not have too many more chances to improve my handling of them.
There’s already a two-bird daily limit on sage grouse and the season on them closes two months earlier than it does for most other upland birds in Montana. Now FWP is considering cutting the season to 31 days.
Deadline for public comment on the issue is June 27 and the FWP Commission will take final action on game bird seasons July 17.
Although hunting pressure has been shown to have little effect on game bird populations, bird hunters are easy targets. Instead of addressing loss of habitat and energy development, wildlife managers too often punish instead the only folks who give a damn about the birds.
Like Dallas.
And there’s seldom any going back.
The daily mountain grouse limit was reduced from five birds to three in the 1980s because an FWP commissioner didn’t see as many blue grouse on his ranch one fall as he had in the past. Twenty-some years later, the limit is still three.
The daily limit on sage grouse was recently reduced from three and now there’s talk of halving the season.
The writing is on the wall.
While wildlife managers admit that hunters aren’t the problem, hunters are most easily removed from the equation. Then the only people who care will be those who are paid to care and people who care because of a paycheck don’t care like Dallas does.
Remove the hunter and you’ve turned the sage grouse into another spotted owl. And while they may both taste like chicken, no one will ever know.
Parker Heinlein is at pman@mtintouch.net
Concern that West Nile virus is hurting sage grouse populations has prompted the Montana Department of Fish, Wildlife and Parks to consider cutting in half the hunting season for the state’s oldest grouse.
Not that it would matter much to most bird hunters, who seldom target sage grouse anyway, but eliminating the season completely is probably on the horizon.
And that would matter to my friend Dallas.
Sage grouse are his favorite game bird both in the field and on the table.
He opens the upland bird season each fall with a family hunting trip for sage grouse and pursues them with the same passion he does elk.
Sage grouse, Dallas tells me, are Montana’s original game bird, so ancient they don’t even have gizzards.
Properly handled in the field, the big birds are unequaled on the table. Or so my friend claims. I would beg to differ, but perhaps it’s simply a case of improper handling on my part.
I may not have too many more chances to improve my handling of them.
There’s already a two-bird daily limit on sage grouse and the season on them closes two months earlier than it does for most other upland birds in Montana. Now FWP is considering cutting the season to 31 days.
Deadline for public comment on the issue is June 27 and the FWP Commission will take final action on game bird seasons July 17.
Although hunting pressure has been shown to have little effect on game bird populations, bird hunters are easy targets. Instead of addressing loss of habitat and energy development, wildlife managers too often punish instead the only folks who give a damn about the birds.
Like Dallas.
And there’s seldom any going back.
The daily mountain grouse limit was reduced from five birds to three in the 1980s because an FWP commissioner didn’t see as many blue grouse on his ranch one fall as he had in the past. Twenty-some years later, the limit is still three.
The daily limit on sage grouse was recently reduced from three and now there’s talk of halving the season.
The writing is on the wall.
While wildlife managers admit that hunters aren’t the problem, hunters are most easily removed from the equation. Then the only people who care will be those who are paid to care and people who care because of a paycheck don’t care like Dallas does.
Remove the hunter and you’ve turned the sage grouse into another spotted owl. And while they may both taste like chicken, no one will ever know.
Parker Heinlein is at pman@mtintouch.net
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